It’s unanimous, 3.6 million views and about ten shares on my Facebook timeline I am supposed to be moved, charmed and teary when I see this video of “Isaac” in Portland asking his girlfriend to marry him. Instead, I get disturbed. What disturbs is that people find it compelling and loving, while I get the exact opposite reaction.
It starts with her being put into the back of a CRV, how mild mannered and innocuous, while a guy beats with aggression on a small Revere Ware pot. She is captured. Then, slowly his friends, family come out dancing, singing, arms in the air. The whole village is taking part in the abduction. People say she loving it. The Man appears in a suit and makes the proposal. Now understand, this is in front of about forty friends and family members. It’s as if they are saying: ” we all like him, you should as well”.
What is her choice? Embarrass him? Say no? Ask to think about it? Kick his balls and run?
How is this romantic? How is this charming? It is contrived. Contrived staged and videotaped for going viral. Why did this contrived and I would say slightly violent act evoke such good feelings in people? It reminded me of the scenes where the village delivers the bride to the groom as property.
But, it’s in Portland. They drive a CRV. They are modern. The modern day abduction or rape of Europa comes to mind. The story is that Zeus, enamored by the beauty of Europa, transformed himself into a white tame bull, the CRV, she caresses the bull and eventually climbs on the bull. Zeus, then abducts Europa to Crete.
I don’t want to link to the video, I don’t want to give this guy more hits. The young woman is not given the opportunity, or dignity of choice. She is compelled by the collective ganging up to be enchanted and give in to the strapping bull who is going to document his conquest for the world to see.
How could she say no to such a display of love? Desire? We all agree. She is not given a voice. She is to submit to our agreed upon story of romance, display of affection and charm. Modern day abductions are a collective viral display of the same violence done to women for eons. The violence is that they should be damned pleased a man wants them and asks in a whimsical fashion.